As coaches, one of the most powerful ways we can support our clients is by helping them become aware of their inner experiences and teaching them how to manage those experiences intentionally. This process, known as experiential intelligence, allows clients to understand their mental and emotional states and make deliberate shifts to align with their goals or activities.
For many clients, life feels dictated by external forces—stressful commutes, demanding schedules, or challenging relationships. They may not even realize how much their internal states fluctuate throughout the day. By cultivating experiential intelligence, we empower clients to take charge of their moment-to-moment experience and unlock new levels of clarity, control, and performance.
What Is experiential intelligence?
Experiential intelligence is the ability to recognise, assess, and optimise subjective experiences. It’s about helping clients move from being reactive to proactive in managing their mental and emotional states.
Clients often oscillate between various states—mindfulness, rumination, daydreaming, flow—without awareness or intention. These shifts influence their ability to focus, make decisions, and feel fulfilled. By fostering this awareness, we guide them to recognise their current state and decide whether it’s serving their goals.
The role of experiential competence in coaching
Once clients develop awareness, the next step is building experiential competence—the ability to manage their states to match the task at hand actively. This skill helps clients:
Reduce stress by shifting out of rumination and into mindfulness.
Boost creativity by leaning into moments of mind-wandering.
Increase productivity by entering flow states more intentionally.
As coaches, we can help clients develop these skills by incorporating strategies into our sessions that encourage reflection, intention-setting, and experimentation.
Practical strategies for coaches
Start with Awareness
During sessions, ask clients to describe their current mental state. For example: Are you feeling focused, distracted, or anxious?
Encourage clients to notice patterns in their states throughout the day. What triggers certain states, and how do these states affect their actions?
Explore the State-Task Connection
Help clients understand that different tasks require different states. For instance, mindfulness might be ideal for managing stress, while a playful state might enhance creativity.
Ask reflective questions like: What state would best serve you in this situation?
Teach State-Shifting Techniques
Introduce practical tools such as breathing exercises, visualization, or movement to help clients shift states intentionally.
Practice these techniques during coaching sessions to build confidence and familiarity.
Set Small, Actionable Challenges
Encourage clients to experiment with state-shifting in specific situations. For example: The next time you feel stuck, try grounding yourself in mindfulness before continuing the task.
Celebrate small wins to reinforce the value of these practices.
The benefits for clients
By developing experiential intelligence and competence, clients gain:
Increased Clarity: They learn to assess their current state and its alignment with their goals.
Enhanced Control: They feel empowered to shift their state instead of being controlled by external circumstances.
Improved Performance: They can intentionally enter the states most conducive to success, whether it’s focus, creativity, or relaxation.
This approach not only helps clients navigate challenges but also fosters long-term growth and resilience.
A challenge for coaches
As a coach, reflect on how you can integrate experiential intelligence into your practice. In your next session:
Help your client identify their current state.
Explore how that state is affecting their actions or mindset.
Guide them in experimenting with a state-shifting technique that aligns with their goals.
By teaching clients to take charge of their inner experiences, you’ll empower them to navigate life with greater ease and intention. Experiential intelligence isn’t just a skill; it’s a foundation for lasting transformation.
Let’s help our clients master this invaluable tool, one state at a time.
